Seaweed and paper mache
This summer we were in a place where the sea looked like a huge bowl of seaweed soup. Before you ended up in the beautiful blue part you first had to go through an enormous amount of dredging.
Lying on my beach bed I thought; this is exactly how the coaching process works. You have to be prepared to plow through the mud with someone and then end up in a beautiful place.
The book 'Body Kindness' described this perfectly: “It can feel like you're wasting your energy and you look like a toddler making a huge mess with paper mache. You have to go through a lot of sticky junk before you get to see something beautiful”.
Magic wand
Of course I also wished that someone with a magic wand could have made all my problems disappear at the time. I would have been rid of my insecurity, perfectionism, eating disorders and sadness in one fell swoop. I can now say that I am glad that person did not come. I would never have been able to do everything I have done now. I had to go through that whole mountain of gunk first, and I was very willing to do that. I learned a lot from that and I would never do it any other way. Such a wand may give you temporary relief, but it will not provide lasting transformation.
Motivation
Besides being prepared to work through the mess, there is another important factor for a successful outcome of a coaching process: Motivation. Especially where it comes from. It is often the case that motivation comes from outside; someone who tells you to lose weight, gain confidence, work out more. Or you see things on social media that you think you should/could do too.
One of the least satisfying reasons for change is to do what someone else tells you to do. And no, that is indeed not the way any form of coaching works.
It's all about Intrinsic motivation, the motivation that comes from you. This one gives you the greatest chance of long-lasting, lasting habit changes.
You are responsible for your actions and choices, you can ask for help and look to others for inspiration, but you are in control and a coach is the "guide on the side".
Contradiction
Of course there is always that contradiction; you want to change things, but you don't really want to. You make some adjustments but you don't last. You also give yourself nice comments; This will never work, you better stop.
Contradiction is part of the process. Be kind to yourself and you'll go a long way. Don't let this stop you from persevering; Where there's a will, there's a way.
Your time
Do you notice that the thoughts you didn't have during your vacation are now back? Doubt, perfectionism, comparing yourself to others... You haven't been bothered by this in recent weeks and you're not waiting for it now either. You just want to have fun dancing.
Would you like to work on that in the coming year so that you become mentally stronger and more resilient and can just enjoy dancing? Go for it, this is your time.
Ah
If you are willing to go through the mud and is your motivation intrinsic? Then I can say from my own experience that health coaching does work. I've had so many aha moments, I can't count them on one hand. I am myself and more, and I couldn't have done that without a coach. Not enough 'evidence' yet? The Institute for Integrative Nutrition, which I have a multiple degree from, has been around for over 30 years. Coaches are active in more than 175 countries and I am also a member of the Dutch Order for Professional Coaches.
No, I don't have a magic wand, but I know that together we can ensure that you can deliver top performance from a healthy basis.
Have a great year and I hope to talk to you sometime.
